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[bring_a_sponge]

 
Picture this:

The Man in Charge. Master of All He Surveys. The Chief. The Boss. The Big Man.

Agent Zed.

In his office at the heart of MiB HQ.

A good day. Quiet. Productive. The kind of day a man expects he'll be able to look back on with tremendous satisfaction.

Well, half a day, anyway....

Comments

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Realizing that no-one is listening to her irrelevant commentary, Goldy ceases her inspection work at the window and turns back to the assembly. K seems a little rattled, but fine for the most part, so her first order of business is to right Zed's upturned office chair. Her second is situate herself in it and throw her heeled boots up onto the pristine desk surface.

"Welcome back to the land of civility, Zee," she says.

Finally, she systemically opens drawers in the desk until she locates Zed's secret candy stash, and helps herself to one of the mini Twix bars she finds there.

"All shock-value fun and japes aside," she solemnly continues as she tears the wrapper, "we're serious about this. I for one promise to respect you as the head honcho once I'm working. And I further vow to uphold all the bureau rules and codes of conduct. I can be a good girl when I need to be."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

Jen, for one, is grateful for Goldy's Declaration of Intent to Sort Of Behave, even if it leaves a lot of wiggle room. She knows Goldy is sharp enough to never back herself into a corner.

Zed still dangles, held in the gamma grip of Jen's left hand, but when she speaks, her tone is soothing, coupled with the crisp professionalism of someone that has talked a lot of people off a lot of edges over the last decade.

"I'm blast proof, Zed, remember? That's why K wanted me. Impervious to most physical and psychological harm. Now, hear that? Goldy and I will behave. That's not so bad, is it? You're up two operatives that are willing and able to take directions and think on their feet. I'll even minimize my initiative for the first sixty days. Can I let you down?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"And think about what you're getting with me," Goldy adds.

"While I'm not indestructible, I am immortal, so I never really die and I heal super fast. I have marksmanship talents and can handle most weapons, and I'll sleep with anyone or anything. That will work well alongside Jen's diplomacy skills."

[nita_callahan]

". . . Want me to go over my qualifications again," Nita asks, glancing between Goldy and Jen and stifling laughter, "or are we okay?"

[k_in_black]

K's been taking all this in while he finishes restoring himself from that unfortunate moment in dishabille.

Well, they've made their case. And the longer Zed stays up there, the worse it's going to be.

He nods to Jen to let the Chief down and gives Nita a wink.

After that, K braces himself for impact.

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

"That may not be helping, Goldy," Jen judges, slooooowly lowering Zed until his feet touch the ground, then bracing him with a firm hand low on his back.

"Talk to me, Chief. Nouns and verbs, complete sentences, absence of material threats."

[nita_callahan]

Nita mutters a few quick words to let Zed be fully mobile again--

--and lines up the words of a shield spell in her head.

Just in case.

[bring_a_sponge]

There are some things a man can stand firm against. There are others that can only be mastered by embracing them fully and charging ahead faster than everyone else.

Which is why Zed's first act, inevitably, is to reach for his tie, much like K did, and start rearranging it back into a semblance of dignity. He says nothing while he does this (and then his Suit), and he takes his own sweet time at it.

Then comes the most baleful Zed glare to date. K gets the first and the harshest, but no word is spoken or needs to be.

Nita is next, with pointed finger. "You: internship accepted. Furthermore, you'll fulfill its terms as my executive assistant. With the proviso that you don't pull that shit on me again ever, unless you're intent on spending the rest of your life on Balbazol Prime. Look it up."

The finger turns next to Jen: "You: offer accepted, starting immediately. If you're going to be a fucking skip tracer, you might as well be going after fugitives in your threat level. I'm talking intergalactic felons, not shit-heeled biker gangs from Oakland."

"As for you," he turns to Goldy. "OUT OF MY FUCKING CHAIR. Offer also accepted. About time we got you on the payroll. I've got a list of miserable sons-of-bitches as long as my arm who ought to consider themselves lucky to end up gutted like fish for the shit they've pulled around the galaxy. You want asses to kick, and you kick them like no other. You're finally going to get some worth your time."

"Now," Zed straightens and surveys the office once more. "Have we got a fucking deal or not?"

[nita_callahan]

Nita starts grinning.

"Yes, sir!"

Hey, if he doesn't give her cause to go throwing spells around, she won't.

(She's gonna get Spot to calculate the odds of him not giving her cause the minute she gets home. She's guessing they're pretty low.)

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

"My shitheel bikers would eat your entire organization for lunch. Class 90, remember? I get the best supervillains jumping bail."

Well, most of the time.

"Accepted in turn," she hastens to add, with a wide smile.

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Personally, Goldy feels that thinking on one's back is just as beneficial as thinking on one's feet. But, for once, she keeps her mouth shut and lets the big man deliver his speech. She stays put as the other say their pieces, popping the last morsel of Twix into her mouth and munching it down contentedly. Only then does she respond to Zed, by dropping her feet, pistoning herself out of the chair, striding around the desk and pointing her own finger right back at him.

"This is the best decision you've ever made, Zee. You won't regret it."

He undoubtedly will, of course, and he probably knows it. That stuff about her abiding by the rules was utter horse shit. Then again, empires are never built by saints alone.

"Deal."

She unfolds her other fingers and offers her hand to shake on it.

[bring_a_sponge]

Zed takes that hand and gives it a single, firm shake.

"Fine," Zed smirks. "And here's your first mission: get coffees all around and meet us down by the lockers."


Wolf down his Twix, will she?

[nita_callahan]

"Actually," Nita pipes up, "tea if you can get it would be great. Two sugars."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Normally, Goldy would refuse such a request and give Nita and Zed a healthy dose of snark in return. She's not the intern here! But in this particular case, she could use a smoke after that delicious Twix, and she knows her Marlboro-loving worm buddies hang out in the break room. So it's with a surprisingly bright smile and a chirpy voice that she says:

"I can do that. See you there."

She then struts out of the office, already armed with the knowledge of everyone else's drink preferences.

Take that Zed!

[k_in_black]

K clears his throat.

"So. Anyone up for a quick tour of the facility?"

[nita_callahan]

Nita perks.

"Yeah! Um, since I seem to be the newbie here and everything."

[bring_a_sponge]

Deciding it might be better to give Zed some breathing room, K leads a quick exit out of Zed's office and out onto the catwalk overlooking:

"...This... is the Main Hall. Logistics and planning, emergency response, general surveillance and reporting all happens here. Every field Agent has a desk here."

"Egg Display there.... Over there are the alien arrival and departure stations--MiB doubles as a transport terminal, remember."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

Jen, being quite confident in Goldy's ability to bring her caffeine that she'll like - because Goldy just has good taste, obviously - winks at Goldy before she leaves on her mission of coffee appropriation, then turns her attention to K and Nita, following them out onto the catwalk and listening to his descriptions. Some of this she knows already, of course, but she's a part time Person in Almost Black, so she's intent and professional.

And cheerful, of course.

"Goldy's right. This does bring back fond memories, standing up here. K, are you going to introduce me to the kid? I've got a running bet with the leadership of this organization," she adds, beaming a smile towards Nita. "I think that Pierre Cardin designed the decor. They will neither confirm nor deny."

[k_in_black]

K turns and offers what passes for him as an expression of surprise.

"My apologies, Jen, I thought you'd met."

"Miss Jennifer Walters, may I present Juanita Louise Callahan--or as we all call her, Nita--wizard of the Oath and thorn in the side of the Lone Power."

"And Miss Nita, may I present Jennifer Walters, attorney at law, former member of the Avengers, and superhero of Earth-616."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

"You forgot the Fantastic Four. What've you got against Reed, Sue, Ben, and Johnny, K? Did Reed discover you before you discovered him?"

Still smiling, of course. For all she knows, it could be true. Besides, it's K, and she'll indulge him the way she indulges most people she likes.

"Hello, Nita. A pleasure to meet you, and in such good company."

[nita_callahan]

Nita turns from her examination of the hall and grins up at Jen, offering a hand.

"You too, Miss Walters. Dai'stiho."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

Jen grips her hand and politely does not crush it, but does give a firm shake.

"How lovely. What did you just say? I know how to swear in Kree, if that helps."

[nita_callahan]

A laugh. "Standard wizardly greeting to colleagues, in the Speech. It's kind of like aloha. Means 'well met.'"

[k_in_black]

K leads the way down to the main floor for a quick pass by the offices and labs there. Of course, as Jen probably remembers, there's a lot more to the place than that, but first Nita needs to get her Suit.

Not surprisingly, the Men (and Women) in Black are doing their best not to look impressed by the new arrivals. But there is a low buzz in the Main Hall, and judging from the looks of recognition Nita and Jen are getting, a lot of Agents must have been keeping up with K's reports from Milliways.

Meanwhile, K opens the glass door into the locker room, where Nita's Suit awaits.