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[bring_a_sponge]

 
Picture this:

The Man in Charge. Master of All He Surveys. The Chief. The Boss. The Big Man.

Agent Zed.

In his office at the heart of MiB HQ.

A good day. Quiet. Productive. The kind of day a man expects he'll be able to look back on with tremendous satisfaction.

Well, half a day, anyway....

Comments

[bring_a_sponge]

You'd think it would be easy, but Zed is finding it almost impossible. There are just too damn many aliens out there who one time or another made his life an unbelievable pain in the ass.

How the hell is he supposed to pick just one to be the first to have this bunch show up?

Then again, getting the chance to fantasize one first contact after another between Milliways in Black and a bunch of alien bastards is putting Zed in a dangerously happy mood.

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

Like a voraciously hungry Great White shark hot on the trail of a bucket of fresh chum, Jen hearkens to that possibly anticipatory gleam lurking within Zed's eyes. At least, that's what it looks like.

"Permission to speak and question relentlessly, chief."

Not that Jen often asks for permission, of course, but she does deeply respect Zed.

"May I query what's on the agenda for our first missions? Any developing situations, longstanding impasses, or about-to-implode scenarios that need our attention?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Like a remora getting to feed on the chum after hitching a ride on the aforementioned more keenly-sensed shark, Goldy jumps on the conversational bandwagon now that the topic has been broached.

"Yeah. Come on, Zee. We've had the rage, you've done the Speech, and Nita's suited and booted now. It's time for assignments."

[bring_a_sponge]

A gleam comes into Zed's eyes.

Not an evil gleam. Just a--. Well, ok, it's a pretty goddamn evil gleam.

He mashes an otherwise unremarkable spot on his desk and barks, "L! You find that Krylian ambassador's head yet?"

"Sorry, Chief. Not yet."

"Well," Zed grins. "It's your lucky day. We just got in some new recruits who'll be just the people you need."

"Uhhh," says a very doubtful L. "New recruits, did you say, Chief?"

"Yeah. The new intern and two auxiliary Agents. Fresh from Milliways."

The silence on the other end of the line speaks volumes.

Zed chuckles, and just lifts his finger off the desk without another word.

"The Krylians. One of the most easily insulted races in the galaxy. And the Annelids. Your old pals, Agent β."

"Been in a chronic Prank War for centuries. Things have been quiet for the last few years, but we just had a diplomatic incident flare up this week that might just turn the war hot again. And if that happens, we'll be looking at the complete economic collapse of at least two star systems, and a disastrous credit run on another four or five."

"Unless, that is, a crack team of new recruits steps in to keep that war from starting. And who better to keep a crisis situation from spiraling completely out of control than an intern, two auxiliary agents, and one experienced veteran--," K blinks, "--from fucking Milliways?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy looks less than enthusiastic in the wake of that, and a bit confused.

"I fail to see where ass-kicking comes into this mission," she says. "Unless you're actually hoping for all-out war? In which case, sending me to appease an easily-offended race should take care of that, no problem."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

"It's a war of wits mission, Goldy. A different kind of ass kicking, but still ass kicking, and unless I'm guessing wrong, a lot of running around and saving the universe at the last possible second. It sounds perfect. Where do you want us, chief? Annelids or Krylians?"

Jen, for posterity, relishes this kind of thing, if nothing else because she can practice her sense of impeccable timing.

[bring_a_sponge]

"You two take the Annelids. They might actually pay attention to you two. Besides, Neeble and his bunch have the hots for Agent β here, so take advantage of it. Make it funny, and the worms might even thank you for screwing 'em over."

"Meanwhile, K and Nita, you two get to deal with the Krylians. Find out what got the Ambassador's shorts in a bunch and try to keep the rest of his staff calmed down until we can get the Annelids to back off."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy still looks a bit sulky. However, if Jen thinks the mission won't suck, it probably won't. And the fact that the Fable is more than familiar with the ways of the Annelids also endears her to it. They can be a lot of fun.

She sighs in resignation.

"Alright. You convinced me. I'm in."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

The Men in Black are a five star intelligence, recon, and covert/overt action agency. Jen knows this. Therefore, she knows that briefings do not take place in locker rooms. Logic dictates that briefings take place in gleaming white rooms with massive vid screens, holographic display modules, extensive stellar cartography charts, and real time streaming of sitreps from at least a dozen different agents already working on their problem. This is usually preceded by an elevator ride - or what passes for an elevator, in the MiB organization, as Jen well remembers their chic Courreges elevator tubes - with barked orders, admonishments, cautionary notes, recriminations, and other iterations of chiefly concern.

"Lead on to the briefing, chief. Agents Beta and Gamma are ready."

[nita_callahan]

Nita shoots a wry half-smile at K when Zed springs the assignment on him, then listens intently to the rest of Zed's speech.

"Can do," she agrees. "I wouldn't mind more information, either. And I'd like to know how much wizardry I'm authorized to use as far as you're concerned, sir -- I mean, I'm Oathbound, but if you have further restrictions . . ."