(no subject)

[bring_a_sponge]

 
Picture this:

The Man in Charge. Master of All He Surveys. The Chief. The Boss. The Big Man.

Agent Zed.

In his office at the heart of MiB HQ.

A good day. Quiet. Productive. The kind of day a man expects he'll be able to look back on with tremendous satisfaction.

Well, half a day, anyway....

Comments

[bring_a_sponge]

"Juanita L. Callahan."

Zed pauses, sweeping the room with a glare to shut everyone up, before turning back to Nita.

"You will dress only in attire specially sanctioned by MiB Special Services."

"For the duration of your internship, you will conform to the identity we give you. Eat where we tell you. Live where we tell you."

"You will have no identifying marks of any kind. You will not stand out in any way. Your entire image will be crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter."

"You are a rumor. Recognizable only as déjà vu and dismissed just as quickly."

"You don't exist. You were never even born."

"Anonymity is your name. Silence,your native tongue."

"You are no longer part of the system. You are above the system. Over it. Beyond it."

"We are 'Them.'"

"We are 'They.'"

"We are the Men in Black."

"And for the duration, Agent α, so are you."

And there, in Zed's outstretched hands, is a crisp new Suit.

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy sips her coffee as she listens to the speech. At the mention of 'identifying marks' she takes a lock of her instantly recognizable hair between her fingers, and looks at it with interest. She then squints at her rather blatantly green companion.

So much for that rule applying to them. She stifles a snort and continues to listen.

When it's over, she gives Zed a slow golf clap.

"Very professional. Well done."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

Jen offers Goldy something amorphously between an affectionately admonishing and utterly indulgent look.

"He is good at this. Come on, sweetie, this is a formative experience for Nita."

Her cappuccino gets set on top of the nearest locker - she is that tall, after all - so she can applaud. Esprit de corps is important, after all!

"Want some help, Nita? Zed, don't you dare tell me this doesn't come with a gravitonic lint roller."

[nita_callahan]

Nita, for her part, stays very quiet and listens very carefully to every word Zed says.

When he offers the suit, she sets aside her tea and echoes, in the Speech, "For the duration."

That's as solemn a binding as she's willing to give -- and it's pretty solemn. It's not a code she'd want to live by indefinitely, but . . . for the duration. Okay.

Then she takes the Suit with both hands, still solemn.

And then attempts not to expire with glee at being Agent Alpha. Seriously, how freaking cool is that?

Moment of solemnity over, she nods at Jen. "Um, sure, that'd be good."

[bring_a_sponge]

Zed, anticipating Nita's next question, points to an alcove leading to changing rooms. Then seeing Goldy and Jen begin following her there, growls,

"Try not to take forever in there, 'Locks. We've got a goddamn galaxy to protect."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy looks back at Zed, lip curled in bemusement.

"Give me some credit, Zee. She doesn't need much work."

She lets out a little chuckle and disappears into the changing area, which is nothing more than a glorified unisex bathroom really, complete with sinks, mirrors and a few stalls.

"I don't believe we've been formally introduced yet," she says to Nita, and extends a hand. "I'm Goldilocks. A version of the Earth fairy tale character."

[nita_callahan]

. . . Well, if she's gonna introduce herself like that, Nita won't feel bad about double-taking as she shakes her hand.

"Really? Um, pleasure to meet you! I'm Nita. Wizard et cetera. Dai'stiho."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

Jean, meanwhile, is dusting off Nita's new suit jacket and skirt on their hangers, eyeing them critically for signs of quality tailoring. If this thing was cut by a machine rather than a person, she might lodge a formal protest.

"Okay, kiddo, let's get you changed. Chief said all identifying and distinctive markers and accessories except for green skin and manes of shining hair have got to go. Got a zipper bag to put them in? If not, I have spares."

[nita_callahan]

Which finally gets Nita to burst into tension-releasing giggles.

"Sorry," she manages after a minute. "Just. Yeah. This is all a little crazy even for me." Taking the suit, she heads for one of the stalls and adds over her shoulder, "Thanks, but I'll just shove my stuff in a claudication and deal with it later."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy scratches her head at that nonsensical statement.

"I thought a claudication was a bad leg," she says.

"What are you talking about, hun?"

[nita_callahan]

"Personal pocket of otherspace," she calls over the stall door. "Extradimensional, interstitial -- basically it's a little empty universe I can access and store things in."

Her blouse appears, hung over the top of the door, followed shortly by her slacks.

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"Oh," Goldy replies, enlightened and enamored by the concept all at once.

"A bit like the Witching Cloak's holding properties," she recalls from Fable legend. "Very handy. I wouldn't mind one of those myself."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

"Or a pocket universe. She has her own pocket universe actually in her pocket. Don't the locals get upset, Nita? You can't displace things into a pocket universe forever without it resonating and having a ripple effect elsewhere. Infinity and Eternity don't take kindly to that."

Jen, it will be noted, feels right at home. She does, after all, have a very special personal security device on her laptop.

"My laptop has a lock that will shunt any unfortunate would be thieves into the Crimson Cosmos, where they have to eat Hamburger Helper 24/7."

[nita_callahan]

"Oh, no, it's not like it's infinite. And there are restrictions on it to keep the energy use reasonable -- nothing alive, no massive unstable reactive elements, stuff like that."

Pause, with significant rustlings.

". . . I'm gonna have to find some better shoes."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

"Well, you never know when your pocket dimensional wallet has denizens suddenly wondering if someone's leaving around old issues of The New Yorker and pairs of shoes. Try leaving them symmetrical arrays."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy chuckles at Jen's commentary, while looking down at the rather dowdy low-heeled dress shoes that came with her and Jen's MiB outfits.

"Tell us about it, Neats. Ankle boots would work much better. Michael Kors joker-style. Calfskin. Elastic gore. Only $460 from Neiman Marcus."

Whether that particular make would work better is debatable. She just wants a pair, and if MiB will pay for them, so much the better.

[bring_a_sponge]

Zed turns toward K with a pained look. "Here it starts...."

K tries very hard to stifle a snicker, but can't quite make it.

[nita_callahan]

"Um, yeah, maybe something that wouldn't bite into the college fund."

A few more rustlings, and Nita emerges from the stall, straightening her tie. "How do I look?"

There must be this said for the MiB suits: it's hard not to look sharp in them.

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"Oh sweetheart," Goldy coos. "Functional yet fashionable footwear is what expense accounts were invented for."

She gives the teen-in-black an appraising once over.

"Not bad."

Her nose wrinkles a touch.

"The shirt and tie are going to have to go though. That look went out with Dietrich. It's just a teensy bit too butch for you."

Goldy and Jen never even put theirs on. They went with low cut silk blouses instead, which they just happened to bring along with them. Fortunate that.

"Don't worry. We'll get you into something more suitable before your first field assignment."

[nita_callahan]

Cocking her head, Nita pulls a pair of sunglasses out of the jacket's inner pocket, slips them on, and examines the effect in the mirror.

"Marlene Dietrich? I can think of worse people to take style cues from."

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

"Dietrich is an admirable paragon. Although you might want to try a little Kate Hepburn on for size before you go for Weimar decadence."

She glances down at their shoes.

"Hmm. Kors. I could ask Janet Van Dyne to work us up something that could hopefully pass MiB regulations. Jan's got some fabrics that would put SHIELD and NASA to shame - tough as adamantium, flexible, and beautiful. Besides, who would say no to a pair of boots from the Winsome Wasp? Half of my wardrobe is Jan Van Dyne orignals. But," she clarifies, looking at each of them in turn, "We do make this look good."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy reacts by striking a pose. Nothing too flamboyant, but still devastating enough to bring most men (and maybe some women) to their knees. And from it, she looks at Jen over the top of her Ray Bans.

"Was there ever any doubt that we would?"

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

"No."

Jen's answering grin betrays a certainty.

"We're going to be instrumental in mentoring. High standards are to be expected."

Dark green eyebrows are waggled at Goldy in a series of semaphores, which clearly say that once Zed and K are truly out of earshot and the girls are alone, they can immediately peruse the MiB codex and look for loopholes. Jen is very good at finding loopholes, but she also knows that the MiB run a tight ship.

"Speaking of which, Goldy, are you a Dolce & Gabbana or Yves St. Laurent girl?"

Yes, she knows that Zed and K can hear her.

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"Neither," Goldy reveals. "I do Armani mostly."

She absently checks herself out in the mirror before she breaks posture.

"Which is not to say that I wouldn't like to check out some Van Dyne. You've got adorable taste, so I trust your judgment on such things. And, hey, maybe she could fix us up some skirts to go with this outfit, as well as boots."

Goldy, too, is very aware that the MiB's are listening.

[gammagammahey.livejournal.com]

"The skirts need to go up at least three inches in length when we're in deep insertation situations requiring clear body language, don't you think? But a knee length is good for general diplomacy.